Spirit for Skeptics

Over the past year and a half, I’ve written 554 pages of fiction across three in-progress novels. Great, NBD. The writing is the easy part, for me. But when it’s time to do something with the stuff I’ve written, I freeze.

This is a big part of the reason I signed up for Tiffany Han’s #100rejectionletters, the live portion of which ended last week. The goal is to get 100 rejections, each of which will be represented by a gold star sticker on the chart Tiffany sent us. And after four weeks of planning and preparing, it’s time to start racking up some gold stars.

Continue reading “#100rejectionletters” →

I’ve been struggling to write lately because I have this idea that anything I write here has to relate to my blog’s title. And the things I need to write about lately aren’t so spiritual. I’ve been struggling to understand myself better, which is always my goal, but specifically so I can figure out what I want in a partner.

Continue reading “My only constant is perpetual growth” →

I wrote this at the end of January, then didn’t publish it. It still feels relevant, so I’m sharing it now. Sometimes you can accomplish a lot and have it feel like nothing. I know this intellectually; it’s part of why I’ve worked so hard to untether my sense of self-worth from external accomplishments. But when you expect to feel something, and you don’t, it can feel like a letdown regardless of what you know to be true.

I got a lot done this month. As of this writing, I’m 44,000 words into a novel I started writing on January 1. This is the ninth blog post I’ve published. I’ve studied French 26 days in a row. I’ve meditated every day of 2019. I’ve recorded six podcast episodes.

Amid all of this, I was bored. I was exhausted. I felt disconnected from other people, but also like connection wasn’t something I particularly wanted at this juncture. I went back and forth on whether I actually want the thing I keep claiming I want. (I still don’t know.) I resented everyone, myself included. I either started work at 6 a.m. (work work, the kind I get paid for), or I couldn’t get out of bed until 9.

I spent a lot of time wondering what the point is of all of this. Life, on a macro level. My creative work, on a micro level. Even my death-reminder app failed to make me feel more alive.

Then there were the deals I didn’t keep. Things I was supposed to leave in 2018 but didn’t. Dry January cut short on the 27th, when I realized my life had no balance. The yoga I stopped practicing somewhere around January 7. The half marathon I decided not to run. Eating dairy again and getting no joy out of it, just congestion. Consuming things — food, wine, affection — like they’ll eventually fill me up.

Nothing sounds good to me right now. Nothing sounds fun. Everything feels capable of being divested.

So let’s try a different month.

Seems like everyone’s worried about how much time they’re spending on their phones. Even my productivity boyfriend Cal Newport decided to focus his new book, Digital Minimalism, on how to use personal technology “to support your goals and values, rather than letting it use you.”

Continue reading “How to give your phone a makeover” →